you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
