Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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