No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
