so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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