It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize