All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
