So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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