not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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