Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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