Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
