If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
