I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
