school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
