Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
