Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
