I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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