I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
