you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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