capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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