I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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