this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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