I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
