I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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