maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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