She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize