Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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