the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
