i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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