you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
