I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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