To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
