Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
