You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
