So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
