She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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