dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
