I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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