The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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