Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
