My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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