Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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