what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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