That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
