If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
