i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
