Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sobbing to NWA
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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