he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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