when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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