i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
