Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Randomize
