I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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