I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
