hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
