he wants to bone in the snuggie
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
