I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.