I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.