Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.