I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.