i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience