Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
