I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
