I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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