This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
