I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
