am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
birth control should be required to get into college
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
