so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
