and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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