i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
